Since it's wedding season, and since I have at least five clients and two good friends who are planning to tie-the-knot this summer, and since it's my blog, let's change it up, and talk about weddings.
I freakin' love weddings; I've even officiated a bunch.
I love to dress up (as regular blog readers know)
I love to eat
I love to drink (responsibly)
I love to dance
I love to party
It's really the most fun you can have for the low-low price of a toaster oven or knife set off some wedding registry. Weddings are great, but here's the thing:
A disturbing amount of people are more concerned with having a great wedding than a great marriage.
Great marriages aren't built on wedding days or even wedding nights; anyone can dress up for one special day in front of family and friends. That's why it's called the 'honeymoon phase,' because when it's over, the real work starts. Good marriages sometimes happen by chance. GREAT marriages are never an accident. Marriages are made great through work from the trenches that is not always glamourous.
Often, twitter-patted couples have too many conversations about venues, color palettes, and cake, but too few discussions about:
How are we going to resolve conflict?
What does my partner need from me to always feel loved, safe, and valued in this marriage?
What do I need from my partner to always feel loved, safe, and valued in this marriage?
How are we going to communicate those needs to one another?
When we get into an argument or a fight (and you will), what will be the ground rules? Any fair fight has ground rules.
When one of us owes the other an apology, what's the best way to deliver it?
How will we manage the unexpected?
How do we support but not enable one another?
What is the most loving way to tell my partner something they don't want to hear?
Which behaviors from my partner are deal-breakers or non-negotiables, and do they know about them?
The list goes on and on... like, theoretically, for the rest of your life. So, don't skip this part.
Go ahead, plan your dream wedding, but don't forget to plan your dream marriage. Party on!